Dante Applies for Teach For America

Dante reads the following aloud: "The Teacher Loan Forgiveness Program is intended to encourage individuals to enter and continue in the teaching profession. Under this program, individuals who teach full time for five consecutive, complete academic years in certain elementary and secondary schools that serve low-income families and meet other qualifications may be eligible for forgiveness of up to a combined total of $17,500 in principal and interest on their FFEL and/or Direct Loan program loans."

Lara: "That's got to be the most noncommittal statement ever written."

Dante: "Except maybe for the Balfour Declaration..."

On Lara's Amazing Abilities

Andrea: "Maybe Lara's an electric sheep."

Thinking Theoretically

"My economy is dancing in a TuTu"

The Blasphemer's Bargain

Andrea: "I would believe in God if he wrote my papers. Or if he smote me."

Japanese/America Relations

"Gotta love the hand that bombs you"

Solar tensions

Dear Friend,

I know that you have seasonal depression, and that is why you bought a happy lamp, but you can't just share sunshine with people and then take it away.

With aggravation,

Winter

One night at the library, circa 2am

Life is a series of missed opportunities